Fat Pony
by Flag
Summary: What would The Outsiders be like if Ponyboy was fat?
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Brief glimpses into what The Outsiders would be like if Ponyboy was fat.

A/N: Dedicated to anyone who reviews this wonderfully ridiculous story.

As I stepped out of the movie house into the bright sunlight, I had only two things on my mind: Getting dinner and not breaking the floorboards. I didn't have enough money to pay for them if I broke them, but I doubt the owners of the movie house would confront me about it anyways. They're scared of my 6242lbs of pure muscle, and I have a reputation. It used to be a pretty big joke about my rep, but we all know my reputation is for being rough, but sometimes people joke that it's for eating everything in site. People learned not to joke about it pretty fast once I started sitting on them if they did.

I was wobbling down the street when I heard a car come up behind me.

"Hey fat ass!" someone called from a car. My stomach had been grumbling so loudly I hadn't heard it pull up beside me; I hadn't eaten since I had the four large tubs of ice cream with double butter. I started trying to walk a little faster, but I accidentally tripped and fell on my face. Sometimes Darry says I don't use my head, which I guess is true because that happens every time I try to walk faster, but I still try anyways.

"FUCK!" I shouted as I tried to get up, but sometimes I'm like a turtle on my back. When I get down, I can't get up for the life of me because I weigh too much; I can't lift myself up. I couldn't even roll over onto my back so that I could see any traffic coming. I doubted they would run over me; they would bounce off all my muscle and they wouldn't want to damage their car.

"Hahaha!" the people in the car shouted and I heard the car drive off. Oh damn, I was in trouble now!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I have spare time off nano, so I thought I'd write something different. I just couldn't duplicate the humor in the first chapter, sorry!  
Dedication: To SodapopsGurl17 and Outsider because I love you THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS much.

I heard some people running up behind me and I almost threw up. The thought of physical exertion makes me sicker than when I tried to eat rubber because I was hungry but I'd already eaten everything in the house. I would have eaten it, too, but it was a hot day and it nearly burnt my mouth.

"Are you alright, Ponyboy?" I heard Darry ask me.

"I'm huuuuungry," I moaned.

"Well, you can eat once we get you up. Do you think we can lift you, or do we need to call in the damn crane again?"

"Ugh," I said and I felt Darry grab me under the arm, then I felt six other pairs of hands grab me. I tried to stand up, and after five minutes of it I managed to get up.

"Gaw," I said, huffing and puffing. Standing up was hard work! I sat down on the curb, feeling like I was about to cry about all the muscle I'd probably lost while standing up. That's the most exercise I've had in a while, including the walk home.

"You okay Pone?" Soda asked me and patted my stomach, it was the part of me that he could reach. The muscle kept him too far from my shoulder to reach.

"I'm hungry."

"Well then let's go home and we can cook you a lasagna or a pizza or something."

"I want more ice cream," I told him. Was he stupid? Lasagna is healthier. So is pizza, it doesn't contribute to my muscle.

Darry gave me a look.

"Damnit Pony, you don't ever use your head. You ate ice cream and butter again, didn't you? I can tell you did, your eyes are glazed over. Remember what happened last time you had it? You broke out in pimples and itches… You must not eat it sometimes, you aren't always in pimples. But can you remember not to eat it? No siree bub."

"Well fuck you," I said, trying to stand up but falling down again. "I'll eat my ice cream and double butter if I want to!" With that, I reached into my pants and pulled out the load of garlic bread I kept there in case of emergency. "I HATE YOU DARRY!" I screamed as I threw it at him.

"What the fuck, Pony?" Two-Bit asked.

"I HATE YOU TOO! DON'T TRY TO TELL ME NOT TO EAT!" I screamed, bent down, picked up the garlic bread and threw it at him.

"What? Pony, I was just wondering why you kept-"

"I'M HUNGRY!" I screamed and managed to stand up this time, picked up the garlic bread that was on the road, and started eating it.

"Pony, is that healthy?" Soda asked, and I looked at him and could tell he was worrying about me.

"Yes, just like me. It's perfect," I said, wiping my hands on my pants to get off the crumbs of the garlic bread I had just eaten. I looked up at them, and we started the slow trudge home.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Written because the day needs some cheering.  
Dedication: To the Late Mr. Mouse we just found my cats playing with on my bedroom carpet that scared the living crap out of me.

"Ponyboy?" I heard Darry's voice come into the house from my position on the floor of the kitchen. "Where are you, Pony?" he asked, and I tried to answer but my mouth was full of Jello so I couldn't speak. I think I couldn't speak because I was full of food from my stomach to my mouth, but I'm not sure. Finally, I managed to swallow and answered, "In here!"

Darry came rushing into the room, probably thinking that I was in cardiac arrest. The doctors warned him that it could happen due to cholesterol 673 times over the normal person's, and he said that my being overweight would have a lot to do with it, but it hadn't happened so I didn't believe it. I didn't know what a cardiac was, but it sounded like something tasty! Maybe it was talking about jail; once you get arrested you get to eat cardiac's? I was overweigh from nothing but sheer muscle, and muscles a great thing. Isn't it better to weigh a little more than normal than a little less? People would complain if I was more than 2000 pounds underweight, and they can't accept that I'm over 2000 pounds overweight! People just can't accept me for who I am.

"Damnit Pony!" he shouted. "I told you we don't have very much money, why'd you go and do that!"

I thought for a second that he was talking about the bowl I'd broken when I'd fallen to the floor because I couldn't stand up anymore, but then I saw him looking all around the kitchen, opening cupboards, the refrigerator, and last, the shelves that he'd locked that contained all the chocolate and sugar in the house. I'd broken it open though, I'd felt my sugar going low! I didn't have a hard time of it, I just put my arm on the lock, and felt it break. I heard you couldn't put more than 150lbs on a lock, and I guess it's true.

"You ate all our food!" he said, turning from the cupboard to look at me. "AND you don't fit your clothes anymore! Look at all those rips, you should know better than to eat that much! Damnit Pone, you know how much clothes that big cost? We could clothe me, Soda, and the rest of the gang with the amount of fabric you wear on a daily basis if one of us learnt to sew! So now I have to go buy food, and find some clothes or something for you, because you can't go around like that!"

"Like what?" I asked, rolling over a little to see if I could see anything wrong with the way I looked.

"Aw, Pone!" he said, "AND you ruined the floorboards! What the hell? Now I need to get a new floor! What a mess! You'll have to stay there until we can get someone in to fix it, or the population of Tulsa is likely to fall down that hole you made!"

"I could just lie here forever," I told him. It was comfortable on the floor there. "Do you have a pillow?"

I was answered by the slamming door.

"Guess not."


	4. Chapter 4

1Disclaimer: Don't own them.

I was walking down the street, trying to avoid Darry. He was mad he had needed to knock down two walls in the house in order to get me out of the house. While I was trapped in the kitchen, I had eaten so much that I had gained enough weight that I couldn't fit back out the doors. Once they broke down part of the wall, they'd had to hook a chain around me and pull me out, the other end attached to the truck which slowly backed out of the lane, pulling me out of the house as it went. He was pretty mad because our house was half demolished. I was pretty mad because he had removed me from the kitchen. It was pretty late at night, and I was wondering where the nearest open restaurant was.

"Hey Pone!" a voice came from behind me, so I turned my head. It was too much work moving my entire body. My neck was so large because of all the muscle on it I couldn't turn it enough to see who it is.

"Ronald McDonald?" I asked, voicing my hope.

"Naw man, it's Johnny!"

He came up beside me, but in the dark I had a hard time seeing him. Or maybe I had a hard time seeing him because the immense weight of my eyelids kept my eyes half shut at all times. Either way, I could hardly see him.

"What are you doing out here so late?" I asked, trying to keep my voice neutral. He didn't need to know I was extremely hungry and disappointed he wasn't something I could eat. I'd tried munching on his finger once, but he had caught me and hadn't been too pleased. His reaction had been better than Dally's though.

"Aw, parents kicked me out again."

"You mean you didn't come out to bring me some food?"

I even reached down into my pants to get the garlic bread I always left down there, but then I remembered it had gone rotten and Darry had made me throw it out when it started to stink.

"You talkin' about food again?"

I didn't answer- I had walked too far and had to sit down on a bench in the playground, I was so tired from all the exertion... The only thing that could have kept me going was the promise of some greasy fries and fat burgers with everything on top, but it was too far to downtown without a break or some food.

"Man, you get grumpy when you're hungry," Johnny told me, but I didn't acre. I was grumpy because of Darry and because of my stomach. I was so hungry it hurt... I was sure if I didn't eat soon, my body would start to eat some of my muscle.

"Hey Johnny, you got a smoke? I'm hungry man, really hungry..."

"What man, smokes make you less hungry?" When I didn't answer, he said "Here you go..." and passed me one, and took out a book of matches.

"Thanks man," I told him, sticking it in my mouth and starting to munch away on the end.

"What the heck, man?" He asked as the rest of the cigarette disappeared into my mouth and made it's way into my stomach. I didn't normally eat cigarettes, but desperate times call for desperate measures, and I was desperate. Since I'd been pulled out of the house, I hadn't had a thing to eat, and that was at least 20 minutes before meeting Johnny.

"Got another?"

"No way," he said, but I knew he was lying because I saw him tucking the packet back into his pocket. Suddenly, his eyes flicked over to where I saw a blue Mustang circling around the outside of the park. I'd always wanted a Mustang, but hadn't ever been able to get into one because the doors were too small.

All the same, when someone called "Hey, fatass!" out the window, I found myself facing a car full of Soc's again!


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Yeah, yeah... I know, a disgrace to The Outsiders and fat people and restaurants and humankind and whatever else. The Outsiders aren't mine.

I could tell Johnny was starting to panic, but I wasn't worried. I was sure that with all my muscle I would be able to defend us, and if we were lucky, they might have some food in their car that I could steal. Socs were so rich maybe they'd have some caviar in their car- I'd been dying to try that for a while. Some people said it was disgusting, but most people also said that eating Pepsi bottles was disgusting. Just goes to show, I have better taste.

"Lets walk, man," Johnny said, and he started to walk towards to jungle gym. I wasn't too keen on going- once I'd found a half eaten doughnut in the trash over there and it had made me sick. Ever since then I'd been leery of the playground equipment on that side of the park.

"Where we goin', man?" I asked as I heard the car full of Socs pull up beside us. Johnny started to walk faster, but I was so tired I sat down on the grass right there and leaned up against the fountain. It had been such a hard day, I just imagined that the fountain was full of Pepsi and that I drank it all. That would be good- Other than hamburgers, ice cream, and butter, Pepsi was one of my favourite things. I think I like it more than Darry.

"Come on!" Johnny said, and before I knew it he was pulling my hand.

"Downtowns thattaway," I said, pointing back towards the road, away from where Johnny was trying to get me to go. "If I'm going anywhere, its down there for some food. You can forget about me playing on the jungle gym with you, remember what happened last time?"

Johnny groaned, pulled out his switchblade and held it behind him. I didn't know why- surely he wasn't still mad that I'd broken the bars and had crushed him when I'd fallen. He hadn't been mad enough to knife me then, so I didn't think he'd do it now. Of course, he might have not knifed me then because I'd broken both his arms and three ribs when I'd landed on top of him.

"Come on, Pone, get up," he said, urgently nudging me with his foot. I briefly considered trying to grab his shoe to eat, but rethought it- he probably didn't have another pair, and last time I'd done it I'd had to give him my shoes in replacement. Besides, it hadn't tasted all that good.

"Yeah, fatass, what's the matter, can' t get up?" someone asked. I'd been looking around on the ground for something to eat when I heard that voice, and looked up. It was a Soc. I'd been so consumed by my hunger that I'd forgotten that they'd been circling around for five minutes or so. Man, what a waste of gas- in five minutes you could go through the drive through at least three times.

"Why would I want to," I started to ask, but then a Soc yelled "Get them!" and some of them came running at me. The thought of the physical exertion of running just about made me sick, and I broke out in a cold sweat. I desperately licked my lips, hoping to lick up some of the sweat. No luck.

"Johnny!" I called out as they grabbed me and tried to come lift me up. I thought maybe they were going to carry me to a restaurant if they saw how hungry I was, but they weren't having any luck picking me up. "Johnny, come help-!" I started to say. Maybe if he helped as well, they'd be able to carry me, but one of them cut me off by punching me in the head. It became apparent to me that they weren't taking me to Dairy Queen. Still, I wasn't worried- they weren't having any luck picking me up.

"Drown him!" one of them yelled. They started pouring something on my face. That ticked me off- they weren't pouring it into my mouth, how was I supposed to drink it? I was so hungry, my stomach started to rumble. A drink wouldn't have satisfied my hunger, but it sure would have helped me make it to the nearest restaurant.

"What the heck was that?" One of them asked. I saw then all look at each other. My stomach rumbled again.

"Earthquake?" One of them asked as they started to back off.

"Must be," another said as I gave off another rumble. I was sure I was going to die from starvation then and there.

"Lets get out of here!" One said and they all ran back to the car as my stomach continued to roll with hunger.

I was glad they were gone, I wasn't too keen on being punched in the head and grabbed all over, but couldn't they have at least left me a sandwich?


End file.
